Mistress Adventure Series: The Brat
It often surprises me how many times you come across a very alpha male that has very submissive qualities. No matter how those qualities are endearing and adventurous an alpha sub has some measure of a brat in him. When looking at this in terms of relationship how it plays out is at the very forefront of this brat behavior or jerk behavior.
My boy is no exception to this, a very dominant person who can carry himself through life very well, he does not need a Mistress or partner. However, he chooses to allow this component into his life. Adding in the aspect of sexual domination and subtle daily guidance allows for ease of everyday life burdens.
He sometimes faces a struggle that he is being waited on rather than my job to support him through his life and if that involves preparing meals so he can focus on his day job then it is my duty to provide. A Mistress always looks after her toys. Just as when he sees me struggle sometimes with pain, sometimes in dealing with emotions in people he has the capacity to step in and support me.
Often people see the term Femdom or FLR and assume things like he's a cuckold or he's less of a man. When in truth the dynamic allows him to excel at the things that are important to him and lends easy access to a supportive partner.
So how is brat a relative term when speaking of boy B? Simply put boy B struggles with a racing mind and all the proclivities that come from being creative. He sometimes has trouble with focus again a symptom of a creative heart and mind. In no way do I find these negative, but it does bring out the brat. As clever as my boy is and how carefully worded, he communicates sometimes expressing emotion is complicated. Whether it's a lack of words or even understanding what is causing the feeling or maybe it's how to express it. When my boy brats it's because he needs attention and it's not always of a sexual nature. It can be as simple as regret or afterthought right up to being too long in between a play session. He will push buttons with his bratty comments and mannerisms until I've had too much. I get quiet, not mad, and not upset, just quiet. It is allowing him that moment to decide what he needs from me to get past the brat in him. Being dominant does not mean taking humanity out of this situation. It means finding a way to allow your partner and your submissive to express their needs.
Brats in the world of kink can sometimes be dangerous individuals when paired with a dominant that doesn't understand how to meet the needs of a brat. Bratting behavior can be complex or as simple as the situation warrants. The behavior I spoke about above is an example of a more complex form of a brat. A simpler concept of brat is they might do something such as biting or spanking the bottom walking by to elicit an immediate response. This form of simplistic brat can mean they are looking for immediate interaction and it is relatively safe and non-harming. Understanding the dynamic of your situation and your partner’s thought process can help you have a thriving partnership.
So, what is the difference between a brat and a jerk? A jerk is oftentimes mean in their behavior and choice of words. I choose not to harm my boy and he can be a jerk in some moments, but I do tell him he's a big jerkface. My goal is never to cause pain or hurt to my boy in lasting ways, I want to uplift, hold, and support him in his journey in life, and to do that I need to remain steady and calm. It's not always easy when brats spiral. They can go down that route for many reasons which can include lack of sleep, situation, stress, hungry, or any number of things. That spiral may also have to do with depression, anxiety, or any mental factors attributed to being an adult. Being a jerk to your partner is never a good thing. Words can have the lasting impact of creating instability and being unsure in this situation. Often, words are like tiny papercuts, they can sting and bleed and have a short-term impact on the direction of your dynamic.
I would choose my boy and the brat he holds with him any day because having a bit of a brat boy also means having fun and being unknown in everyday life. It also leads to laughter and often because you never know what will happen during the day. Brats have a positive side of being playful, funny, outspoken, opinionated, and energetic. Often people with these qualities have kinks and sex drives that are a bit above normal.
Types of play that work well with brat types are primal and pray, age regressing to middles, predicament situations along with tease and denial. Why do these types of play work so well because they allow the brat to express themselves in a healthy viable way. Often these types of situational play carry a component of spontaneity. I find that a single moment of spontaneity leads to a sexual desire or at the very least a sexual scene outlet for the brat.
Some of the best scenes my boy B and I have had have spurred from a simple positive bratty behavior. It has also allowed me to explore different ways of connecting with my submissive that I have never explored before. Until recently, brat behavior was never considered one that I would like my dynamic. My boy has opened doors to new exploration for me in accepting some of my kinks that seemed to run on the unique spectrum. His wit, communication, playfulness, creativity, and intuitive nature are the highlights of my day. I hope these pieces of my boy continue to grow and thrive because I see them as true pieces of his personality that not many get to see.
One takeaway and major truth that I have learned in choosing my boy this time are that brat behavior can be fun and can exist together. In accepting a brat, I am learning unique perspectives on my own behaviors and thought processes and it will continue to uplift and allow me to grow as a Domme and his partner. Never underestimate the potential a unique partner has to gift.