Sexual techniques and prowess in the bedroom have come a long way in the last little while. It wasn't that long ago that Doctor Kinsey started sex research and founded the Kinsey Institute. For many of us having teenage years in the late 80s and early 1990s, we were huddled around the TV for a Sunday show called Sex with Sue. There was also the well-known late-night show, Doctor Ruth. Many of us learned from these two women or our parent's hidden stash of Playboy and Hustler magazines. For me, this was the first introduction to the Catholic school’s sex education program that I had ever received and like many of us sex was not about the experience or the pleasure, but the result was the male orgasm. I didn't even know then what a female orgasm was. In many of these resources and in pornography we see sexual techniques that involve thrusting or an in and out motion. What if I told you there are other techniques that provide the same amount of pleasure with stimulation to other sexual regions.
It wasn't that long ago, in fact, 2017, that the first full clitoris was dissected and discovered, bringing a new understanding to female sexual pleasure. For simple reference and understanding, the clitoris is both an internal and external organ, that is to provides pleasure. The female clitoris can be accessed just above the vaginal opening externally, through vaginal penetration internally as well as anal penetration, and all three areas can be stimulated at once. Why is this important in talking about the coital alignment technique? This technique focuses passionately on prioritizing clitoral stimulation for orgasm.
To attain this technique, it is a penis in a vagina start, most done in the missionary position. But instead, of focusing on thrust the focus turns to deeper penetration and a rocking motion to create the most physical internal contact. It is super important to note that instead of the natural penis angle on insertion, which is up towards the belly of the female we're going to focus on the angle of the penis to be downwards pressing against the clitoris that rests closer to the anus through the vaginal canal.
This technique is done with the penis holder situating themselves slightly higher on the female body, so not focused on thrust, the focus is on maximum contact. Having the penis holder resting slightly higher up on the female through penetration will naturally angle the penis downward. Then the goal is to rock the hips yet have minimal outward removal of the penis. You can also achieve stimulation through the penis holder by creating small circular motions against the vulva. The vulva holder will feel the male's pubic bone rubbing against the external clitoris.
This position has many benefits including deep orgasms, and Kegel tensing, and it's great to assist in intimacy where there are mobility issues. This is also a great position to very the standard missionary when it comes to invigorating your sex life. The study shows that 81.6% of women don't orgasm from the basic thrust techniques in penetrative sex without clitoral stimulation and only 18% of women can orgasm through penetrative sex. This position also allows you to focus on a deeper closeness as you are not focused on the in and out rigor from regular missionary position sex. This is also a great position to prolong the sexual encounter and catch your breath while bringing sexual intimacy into the moment.
There are a few key points to consider when trying this technique as it is not as easy as what we've come to know as sex.
1. More variety: if clitoral stimulation, mutual masturbation, watching your partner, and toys are things you value in your encounter this technique is for you.
2. Practice makes perfect: this is not an easy technique to master but who doesn't love the practice.
3. Slow and steady: coital alignment technique is the best technique for a slower pace that is a clitoris-based pleasure. It allows you to be in the moment and present with your partner.
4. Great way to incorporate toys: this technique is so versatile you don't have to hesitate when you want to introduce toys to enhance your experience. Great toys to focus on would be penis rings, butt plugs, nipple clamps, and gentle restraints.
You may find that the coital alignment technique may not be effective with you and your partner since there are so many different-sized penises and vaginas that can be tilted in different directions causing different distances. There is absolutely no way to say that this position and technique will work for you. However, personally, I have found this technique to be great with the larger endowed men. Also, it needs to be noted that this is a gentle technique and if you are too aggressive can cause internal injuries in the vagina and injuries to the penis.
One great factor to remember when it comes to coital alignment technique and any sexual encounter is that 7 out of 10 women will never achieve orgasm through penetrative sex. If we are taught this during sex education or learned this early in our sexual exploration our understanding of pleasure both given and received would be heightened. there would be fewer disagreements about performance, style, and exploration if we understood how partners achieve orgasm.
If you are having problems achieving orgasm with the coital alignment technique in the missionary position you can try some of these other positions to help experience success.
1. Scissors: lie on your side with your legs open and slightly bent your partner will enter you by sliding between your legs while theirs are refolded in an upside-down V. think of a right angle and you have it.
2. Reverse coital alignment: in this position, the vagina holder sits on top controlling the rocking in a circular motion to achieve clitoral stimulation.
3. Tabletop: sit or lie back on the edge of a table, bed, or chair at the right height so your partner can penetrate in a standing position. Proceed with rocking or circular motions to achieve the technique.
4. The Lotus: in this position, the penis holder sits on the bed and the vagina holder sits on their lap face to face. This is a particularly connective position as you can be more intimate with eye contact and touching which brings you more into the moment. The Lotus position is also good for longer penises.
5. The sitting v: much like the tabletop in this position the penis holder will be standing the vagina holder will be on a surface at the correct height to connect. After you align and penetrate the females’ legs go up and over the shoulders of the males to receive penetration.
Remember in exploring sex, there is no one right way to enjoy yourself. This is simply another technique that can be added to your toolbox of knowledge when it comes to sex. One key factor I must recognize is the necessity for active communication during sexual encounters. Letting your partner, know what is working and what isn't working at the moment will help to maintain your intimacy and your trust.
If you have any questions or concerns when it comes to sex I highly recommend a conversation with your health provider. They can help and minimize pain, pregnancy, and STIs. Remember sex is supposed to be an unenjoyable experience for all parties.
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